The Three Little Pigs Meet Government

Glenn Beck inspired me to write my own fairy tale about the three pigs.

A week before, a hurricane destroyed the first little piggy’s home in which he had barely been able to make payments, much less buy expensive federal flood insurance. Once the water receded he began to gather piles of straw that had been left scattered by the storm. He used that straw to construct a small comfortable home. He was proud of his little house and found it to be very dry when it rained, and warm on cold nights. Even though it wasn’t near as nice as the home destroyed by the storm, he was happy and there were no monthly payments.

One day the piggy had just come home from work when there was a knock on the straw door. He opened it to find a man wearing a suit and a frown on his fat face. The man asked unpleasantly, “Is this your straw house?”

The pig, proud of all his hard work, squared his shoulders, and replied, “It sure is, built it myself.”

The man pushed the pig out of the way and began looking around the small straw house. He stopped, began writing on a sheet of paper, and said, “This house doesn’t meet our stringent hurricane building codes. If we were to have a hurricane this house would be destroyed.”

A Boy and the Diner

It was a typical Friday night family outing at a small family owned diner. After placing their food order the parents were talking as 8 year old Timmy was watching the various activities you typically find in such a setting. Timmy's father, Tim, felt someone tugging at his shirt and looked to find his son looking at him quizzically. Timmy pointed to a boy his age cleaning off a table and asked, “Why is that girl doing that?”

Tim knew some details about the diner and replied, “That's the owner’s daughter and she helps out after school.” He then turned his attention back to his wife, thinking little about the question.

A moment later he felt the tugging once more and turned to see the same quizzical look on his son's face. Timmy asked, “Does that girl get paid? Is it like a real job?”

Tim knew that his son would never understand child labor laws and decided on the simple answer, “I guess you could call it a job and I think they would pay her something.” At that moment Timmy excused himself from the table. Dad assumed it was for a bathroom break.

Ten minutes later his son returned. A moment later the diner owner walked over to the table and asked, “Are you Timmy's parents?”

The couple nodded and the man about Tim's age with a touch of gray in his hair asked, “Could I speak with one or both of you for a moment?”

Obama Shrugged: The Searches

Jane walked out of the department store and handed the package to Melissa. The young girl eagerly took the package since it held her new sweater. The girl had always wanted a sweater, but since Obama placed tariffs on imported knit products, they were in short supply and rationed. When you did have the opportunity to buy knit products, they were priced out of reach for the average citizen. Melissa pointed at the crowd ahead and asked, “What’s those people doing mommy?”

“I’m not sure honey,” replied Jane.

The mother and child closed in and there was a man with a police officer twisting an arm behind his back. The officer said authoritatively, “You go into the body scanner willingly, or I take you to the van and remove your clothes where we check you for weapons.”

A moment later the officer shoved the cursing man into a black van. Usually people stepped into the scanners without instance, but there were still people unhappy with the law. Just as the crowd cleared and Jane started to walk past the scanning station, a police officer said, “Ma’am, would you please step inside the scanner?”

Obama Shrugged

The line seems to be moving a little faster today,” Jane said to her friend.

Margo smiled and said, “I think so. We have been here only an hour and
we are almost to the door. Doesn’t the fresh bread smell so wonderful
today?”

She replied, “It smells delicious. I’m glad the government decided the
lactose and gluten free bread was suitable for us to eat. That will go
well with the beans.”

After Barack Obama’s forth term he was appointed the lifetime position
as President of the United States. Obama had promised to fundamentally
change America. He had passed universal health-care and to limit cost he
had, along with congress, taken over the farms so that all people ate
equally. All foods found to be unhealthy were banned. The medical board
decided which foods were the healthiest and would lower health-care cost.
Once the two women had purchased their bread and other supplies, they
headed home. It wasn’t long before they were walking into the
fifty-story apartment building. They smiled at the armed soldier
standing just inside. Margo asked her friend, “Can you believe that
people used to live in single family dwellings? That was so wasteful of
resources.”